100 Stephen Colbert Quotes One Must Read
Versatile Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an author, actor, producer, television host, media critic and comedian. Colbert coined ‘Word of the Year 2006’- truthiness. Tyrone, the youngest of 11 kids was born with a cheeky charm. His satirical persona fetched him 2013 Emmy award for the best variety show. He created sketch for Exit 57 and Strangers with Candy. He’s famous for CBS talk show ‘The Late Show with Stephen Colbert’ that lasted for 10 years. Stephen wrote ‘The Dana Carvey Show’, voiced ‘The Ambiguously Gay Duo’ and did a live action version with Fallon, Helms and Hamm. In his teens, he was associated with ‘A Shot in the Dark’- a Rolling Stones cover band. Being close to his family, he mourned the death of his brothers by delving into the world of books and wrote tribute ‘The Colbert Report’ dedicated to his late mother, who motivated him to pursue acting. The bestselling book ‘I am America’ is the brainchild of this registered Democrat. Colbert continues to entertain and inspire others with satirical comedy. To appreciate Colbert's years of insightful comedic genius, we've compiled some of his most memorable quotes. We have excerpted his quotes from his writings, speeches, general life and shows. Presenting a collection of Stephen Colbert Quotes about Christianity, Trump, America, graduation, truthiness, Jesus and much more.
If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
Agnostics are just atheists without balls.
If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.
There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.
It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.
A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?
Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.
They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.
Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.
Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.
Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.
.... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news. ){kind=small}
(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.
You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?
Baby carrots are making me gay.
Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.
I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best." Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children." We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies.
I may not agree with what you have to say but I will fight you to the death for the right to fight you to the death.
I’m the frosting on America’s cake, and tonight I’m willing to let you lick the bowl.
If Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable.
I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
The more you know, the sadder you get.
I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe in if it wasn't for that.
Christianity is the best way to cure gayness—just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.
The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book.
So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
