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86 Notable Quotes By Joseph Heller

Famous As: Best Known for His Novel "Catch-22."
Born On: 1923
Died On: 1999
Born In: Coney Island, New York, United States
Died At Age: 76
Joseph Heller was an American playwright, short story writer and novelist who is considered to be one of the best known satirical novelists of the 20th century. Heller was born in a poor family and worked in odd jobs after high school, before serving in the US Army Air Corps from 1942. Heller however, had always been interested in writing and after studying English at NYU, Columbia University and then at Oxford under a Fulbright Scholarship, he enriched his knowledge on the language. Heller became a teacher and taught at several well-known universities and wrote stories in his spare time. Heller’s first story was published in the magazine ‘The Atlantic’ but it was in 1953 when his novel ‘Catch 22’ brought him mainstream success and the novel is still widely regarded as one of the finest satirical novels written in the English language. ‘Catch 22’ catapulted him to worldwide fame and remains his most famous work. Other notable novels written by Heller include, ‘Something Happened’, ‘Picture This’, ‘God Knows’, ‘Portrait of an Artist as an Old Man’ and ‘Closing Time’. Heller was a man of great wit and intelligence and his works still remain as the finest examples of modern satire. We have selected his most famous quotes from his collection of writings, novels, books, and are sure to inspire you besides tickling your funny bones. Have a look at the collection of quotations, thoughts and sayings by Joseph Heller.
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He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.

He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.

Joseph Heller
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

Joseph Heller
...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.

...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.

Joseph Heller
The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.

Joseph Heller
Insanity is contagious.

Insanity is contagious.

Joseph Heller
He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it

He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it

Joseph Heller
[They] agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.

[They] agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.

Joseph Heller
It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.

It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.

Joseph Heller
Why are they going to disappear him?'
I don't know.'
It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar.

Why are they going to disappear him?' I don't know.' It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar.

Joseph Heller
The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.

The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.

Joseph Heller
The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.

The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.

Joseph Heller
Be glad you're even alive.'
Be furious you're going to die.

Be glad you're even alive.' Be furious you're going to die.

Joseph Heller
I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

Joseph Heller
Every writer I know has trouble writing.

Every writer I know has trouble writing.

Joseph Heller
There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.

There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.

Joseph Heller
When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don't see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.

When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don't see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.

Joseph Heller
Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.

Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.

Joseph Heller
Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.

Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.

Joseph Heller
Morale was deteriorating and it was all Yossarian's fault. The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.

Morale was deteriorating and it was all Yossarian's fault. The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.

Joseph Heller
Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Joseph Heller
He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

Joseph Heller
You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.

You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.

Joseph Heller
What do you do when it rains?

What do you do when it rains?" The captain answered frankly. "I get wet.

Joseph Heller
He was never without misery, and never without hope.

He was never without misery, and never without hope.

Joseph Heller
Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.

Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.

Joseph Heller
Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.

Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.

Joseph Heller
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

Joseph Heller
There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.

There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.

Joseph Heller
Where were you born?

Where were you born?" "On a battlefield," [Yossarian] answered. "No, no. In what state were you born?" "In a state of innocence.

Joseph Heller
-You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!

-You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!

Joseph Heller