25 Thought-Provoking Quotes By Johnny Carson
Johnny Carson was a prominent American comedian, television host, producer and writer. He is renowned as the host of ‘The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.’ In 1987, he was inducted into the ‘Television Academy Hall of Fame.’ He earned the ‘Governor’s Award,’ a ‘Peabody Award,’ and six ‘Emmy Awards’ for his phenomenal work. He was also awarded the ‘Kennedy Centre Honor’ and the ‘Presidential Medal of Freedom.’ We bring to you a treasury of views, opinions and thoughts of Johnny Carson taken from his interviews, shows and gigs. Take a look at the compendium of popular quotes by Johnny Carson on drinking, death, democracy, happiness, humor, positivity, comedy, emotions, education, people, time, success, work, politics, etc.
Find me any performer anywhere who isn't egocentric. You'd better believe you're good, or you've got no business being out there.
Everybody I meet in public seems to want to audition for me. If I ask a guy what time it is, he'll sing it to me.
Entertainment is like any other major industry; it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made; if you can't, you're out.
Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist?
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
Audiences have proved time and again that they don't want a steady diet of any entertainer airing his social views - especially if he's a comedian.
As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
As for being sociable, I hate the phoniness in the showbiz world. I know this will be taken wrong, but I don't like clubs and organizations. I was never a joiner.
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
Air Canada. That's a good name for a Canadian airline.
Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
Americans, too many of them, take themselves too seriously. You're going to get rapped - by the viewers, by the sponsors and by the network brass - if you joke about doctors, lawyers, dentists, scientists, bus drivers, I don't care who. You can't make a joke about Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, politicians, dogs or cats. In fact, politicians, dogs and cats are the most sacred institutions in America.
Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead. And, unlike communism, democracy does not mean having just one ineffective political party; it means having two ineffective political parties.
Democracy is the eagle on the back of a dollar bill, with 13 arrows in one claw, 13 leaves on a branch, 13 tail feathers, and 13 stars over its head - this signifies that when the white man came to this country, it was bad luck for the Indians, bad luck for the trees, bad luck for the wildlife, and lights out for the American eagle.
Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
