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Joan Rivers Quotes

132 Insightful Quotes By Joan Rivers That Will Make You Call A Spade A Spade

Famous As: Comedian and the First Woman to Host a Late Night TV Talk Show 'The Late Show'

Born On: 1933

Died On: 2014

Born In: Brooklyn, New York, United States

Died At Age: 81

Joan Rivers was an eminent American actress, stand-up comedian, television host, writer and producer. She gained recognition for her debatable comedic facade-sharply sardonic mostly towards politicians and celebrities. In 1965 she appeared as a guest on ‘The Tonight Show’ and that is when she gained prominence. She then hosted ‘The Late Show with Joan Rivers’ and became the first female woman to host a late night talk show on television. She stood at the sixth place on the list of ’50 best stand-up comics of all time’ ranked by ‘The Rolling Stone Magazine’ in 2017. She received a number of awards and accolades throughout her career and was also awarded a ‘Grammy’ for her book, ‘Diary of a Mad Diva’ posthumously. We bring to you some funny, canny, popular and quotable quotes and sayings by Joan Rivers on hate, history, today, funny, humor, fitness, smiling, diamonds, God, party, internet, death, children, speak, calm, diet, energy and more. Read through the quotes and thoughts of the trailblazing comedian Joan Rivers who never shied away from speaking her mind.

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Film & Theater Personalities

Actresses

When you whisper about something, it's too big, and you can't get it under control and take control of it.

When you whisper about something, it's too big, and you can't get it under control and take control of it.
You
Joan Rivers

What makes me laugh is, of course, the absurd, the horror - anything that upsets me.

What makes me laugh is, of course, the absurd, the horror - anything that upsets me.
Me
Joan Rivers

All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always loved fashion and I love that we can do it and not take it seriously.

All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always loved fashion and I love that we can do it and not take it seriously.
Love
Joan Rivers

I have no line. If I think it's funny, it's funny.

I have no line. If I think it's funny, it's funny.
Think
Joan Rivers

I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous.

I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous.
Love
Joan Rivers

I would not want to live if I could not perform. It's in my will. I am not to be revived unless I can do an hour of stand-up.

I would not want to live if I could not perform. It's in my will. I am not to be revived unless I can do an hour of stand-up.
Joan Rivers

Your child is never not your child. You can be 90 and your mother 120, but your mother is still worried about you.

Your child is never not your child. You can be 90 and your mother 120, but your mother is still worried about you.
You
Joan Rivers

Reading should be a pleasure, not a chore.

Reading should be a pleasure, not a chore.
Joan Rivers

I will work as hard as I do because I love it.

I will work as hard as I do because I love it.
Love Will
Joan Rivers

When I am on E! for the 'Fashion Police,' I only care about being a critic. It loses me many friends.

When I am on E! for the 'Fashion Police,' I only care about being a critic. It loses me many friends.
Me Friends
Joan Rivers

I'm a New York girl. I come out of New York theater.

I'm a New York girl. I come out of New York theater.
Joan Rivers

Any comic is a very good actor. Look at Don Rickles. He is saying the same joke every night for 20 years and making it look like he just thought of it.

Any comic is a very good actor. Look at Don Rickles. He is saying the same joke every night for 20 years and making it look like he just thought of it.
Joan Rivers

You hear things about certain people. When you hear someone was mean to a limo driver or a wardrobe lady, or someone was rotten to a fan, somewhere in your brain it gets stuck.

You hear things about certain people. When you hear someone was mean to a limo driver or a wardrobe lady, or someone was rotten to a fan, somewhere in your brain it gets stuck.
You
Joan Rivers

Comedy is a very rough beat. It's no holds barred, as it should be.

Comedy is a very rough beat. It's no holds barred, as it should be.
Joan Rivers

Trust me, there's not one night a week I'm not in a theater somewhere. I adore theater, and I go out with friends, so I do have some nights off.

Trust me, there's not one night a week I'm not in a theater somewhere. I adore theater, and I go out with friends, so I do have some nights off.
Me Friends
Joan Rivers

Prince Charles is so funny. So, so funny.

Prince Charles is so funny. So, so funny.
Joan Rivers

I just get such a connection from an audience. You play with them. I get mad at them. I yell at them. They yell at me. It's just fun.

I just get such a connection from an audience. You play with them. I get mad at them. I yell at them. They yell at me. It's just fun.
You Me
Joan Rivers

I think I was the third person in the world to get a Kindle, and I hated it from the minute I got it.

I think I was the third person in the world to get a Kindle, and I hated it from the minute I got it.
Think
Joan Rivers

My audiences get younger all the time.
Time
Joan Rivers

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
Joan Rivers

I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.

I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
Me
Joan Rivers

I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It has taken off. We are the number one show in England on E! Who knew?

I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It has taken off. We are the number one show in England on E! Who knew?
Me
Joan Rivers

Everyone forgets comedians are actors. There's no question about it. A Robin Williams cannot say the same line every night for 40 weeks and make it sound fresh unless he's doing an acting job.

Everyone forgets comedians are actors. There's no question about it. A Robin Williams cannot say the same line every night for 40 weeks and make it sound fresh unless he's doing an acting job.
Joan Rivers

I am a huge 'Downton Abbey' fan - huge!
Joan Rivers

I love Katy Perry! She's very charming.
Love
Joan Rivers

I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.

I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
Joan Rivers

You can find my book at your favorite bookstore, and if it isn't there, find a new favorite.

You can find my book at your favorite bookstore, and if it isn't there, find a new favorite.
Joan Rivers

Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.

Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.
Life God
Joan Rivers