29 Thought-Provoking Quotes By George Burns
![Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20254.jpg)
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
![Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20255.jpg)
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
![If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20256.jpg)
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
![You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20257.jpg)
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
![When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20258.jpg)
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
![I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20259.jpg)
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
![Sincerity - if you can fake that, you've got it made.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20260.jpg)
Sincerity - if you can fake that, you've got it made.
![Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20261.jpg)
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
![I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20262.jpg)
I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate.
![Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20263.jpg)
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
![The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20265.jpg)
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
![It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20264.jpg)
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
![I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20266.jpg)
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
![I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20267.jpg)
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
![No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20268.jpg)
No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
![Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20269.jpg)
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
![You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20270.jpg)
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
![Young. Old. Just Words.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20271.jpg)
Young. Old. Just Words.
![Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20272.jpg)
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
![Say Goodnight Gracie.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20273.jpg)
Say Goodnight Gracie.
![Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20274.jpg)
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
![I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20275.jpg)
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
![I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20277.jpg)
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
![Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20276.jpg)
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
![Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20278.jpg)
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
![I'd rather be a failure in something that I love than a success in something that I hate.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20279.jpg)
I'd rather be a failure in something that I love than a success in something that I hate.
![Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20281.jpg)
Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.
![I can remember when the air was clean and the sex was dirty.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20280.jpg)
I can remember when the air was clean and the sex was dirty." -George Burns
![The key to success is sincerity. If you can fake that you've got it made.](https://www.wisdomly.net/images/quotes/george-burns-20282.jpg)
The key to success is sincerity. If you can fake that you've got it made.