11 Dennis Miller Quotes For Your Daily Doze Of Laughter

Famous As: Talk Show Host

Born On: 1953

Born In: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States

Age: 71 Years

Dennis Miller is an acclaimed American comedian, actor and talk-show host known for his prolific humor skills. During the initial days of his career he did stand-ups in many local clubs and his skills fascinated the famous producer Lorne Michaels. He offered him a significant role in his popular show ‘Saturday Night Live’ where he was appreciated and it turned out to be a major breakthrough in his career. He got instant fame due to his comic skill and played his character successfully for the next six seasons. He further went on to host ‘The Dennis Miller Show’ but his show was unsuccessful and was soon went off the air. He further co-produced and hosted his own show called ‘Dennis Miller Live’, which turned out to be a great success and brought him a couple of 'Emmy Awards’. Miller is a multi-faceted person and he has been successful in various other fields apart from comedy. He worked as a sports commentator for a popular sports television series titled "Monday Night Football”. He has also worked in some successful movies like ‘Disclosure in 1994’ and ‘The Net’ and has even produced a movie titled ‘Tales From the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood’. His continues to entertain his audience with his shows, comic timing, work, thoughts, writings and movies. We have collected his popular quotes from hiw shows, films and life. Presenting a collection of quotations and sayings by Dennis Miller which will give you your share of gaiety.

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Film & Theater Personalities

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A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
You
Dennis Miller

Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.

Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.
Dennis Miller

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
Me I
Dennis Miller

Quote: You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven okay?

Quote: You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven okay?
You
Dennis Miller

America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.

America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
Like
Dennis Miller

When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of the Nerds look like the Rat Pack in 1962. I, myself made that kid Booger look like Remington Steele.

When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of the Nerds look like the Rat Pack in 1962. I, myself made that kid Booger look like Remington Steele.
Like I
Dennis Miller

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
Dennis Miller

A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.

A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.
Dennis Miller

It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.

It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.
You Life Like Home Living
Dennis Miller

Guilt is the reason they put articles in Playboy.

Guilt is the reason they put articles in Playboy.
Dennis Miller

And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow

And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow
Belief
Dennis Miller