38 Notable Quotes By Carl Hiaasen For The Penman
The first rule of hurricane coverage is that every broadcast must begin with palm trees bending in the wind.
Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle.
Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.
Roy remembered the time he and his father had a talk about fighting. 'It's important to stand up for what's right,' Mr. Eberhardt had said, 'but sometimes there's a fine line between courage and stupidity.
Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.
Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head.
The evening news made her wonder if God was dead; the morning sun made her believe He wasn't.
I’m waiting for the day when Rush Limbaugh’s pharmacist writes a book.
Mrs. Bonneville never buckled her seat belt, even though it was required by state law; an ardent libertarian, she opposed government meddling in all matters of personal choice.
Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence.
Disney world is an armpit,compared to Montana!!
That's what people do when they find a special place that wild and full of life, they trample it to death.
And in the meantime don't jump to conclusions.
But Erin let it slide. The child was only four years old; she had a whole lifetime to learn about sadness. Today was for Dalmatians, ice cream and new dolls.
Jimmy Lee Baylis was a wise man, and knew better than to talk back to the man who signed his paycheck.
In his own mind, it was never a matter of courage. But courage it was.
Nobody said he was Alvin Einstein.
My father used to say that you live most of your life inside your own head, so make sure it's a good space.
He wondered if something was mentally wrong with him for being content with what he had
A quick puke, two rails of blow and she was solid.
My father's a large man, very strong, but he says fighting is for people who can't win with their brains. He also says there are times when you've got no choice but to defend yourself from common morons.
From the pancake house I drive directly to the county morgue. The contrast is not especially striking.
From the bow of the canoe she asked, "Do you know a rain dance?" "First I need a virgin.
The man's a born straggler, Honey thought, another lucky exception to the rules of natural selection. A million years ago he would've been an easy snack for a saber-toothed tiger.
You from the IRS? The man's voice was deep and wet, like mud slipping down a drain.
The other day, one of the big shots was trying to say ‘Nice shoes!’ and he accidentally told a government minister that his face looked like a butt wart. Not good.
Remember what happened last time with the 'cuda.
Shreave flicked away the dead mosquito. "Don't these things carry the bird flu too?" "No Boyd, that would be a bird.
Cleveland, Ohio,
As he was pulled underwater for the final time, terror gave way to abject humiliation: he was being fucked to death by a damn fish.
