90 Memorable Quotes By Bill Maher, The Author Of New Rules
William Maher, better known as Bill Maher, is a television show host, actor, political and social commentator, producer and media critic from the United States, who has become an iconic figure across the world due to his ability to deliver hard hitting truths in a humorous way. Maher was born in New York and studied History and English at the prestigious Cornell University, before embarking on a career as a standup comedian. His career started off as a standup comedian in New York but in 1993 Maher got his big break with the talk show ‘Politically Incorrect’. The show won a slew of awards and made him a cultural icon of America. After it came to an end, Maher started hosting another talk show titled ‘Real Time with Bill Maher’ on HBO in 2003 and he has been associated with the show since. Maher’s views on religion, politics and society have influenced people for as long as he has been a talk showhost. Needless to say, Maher is also an extremely smooth orator and has delivered thousands of brilliant one-liners throughout his broadcasting career. Here are some of the better known quotes from Bill Maher that you would surely enjoy.
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit!
I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them." (The Decider, July 21, 2007)
Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake--you know, to send the right message to kids.
I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.
Don't get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
We have a Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
I think religion is a neurological disorder.
Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels & free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep & conformists.
That's what's so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
The Bible looks like it started out as a game of mad libs.
I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt? -timecode 1:11:10
Saying someone is religious is heard in most of America as a compliment, a reassuring affirmation that someone will be moral, ethical, and after a few glasses of wine, a freak in the bedroom.
You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.
The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.
Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream?
To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'.
I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.
Don't you miss the days when America was just MORALLY bankrupt?
If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
You know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!!
Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods took to marriage.
Now, I'm no doctor, but I am on TV. And in my professional opinion, George Bush is a paranoid schizophrenic.
The "Power of One" is a slogan--not a goal.
You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery.
When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
